12-1-2009
There is just a peace when you are where you are suppose to be. I am at that place with that peace. God has blessed me beyond measure just in the five days that I have been here. I have red feet and frizzy hair everyday, but it does not matter. The people are so nice and welcoming. I have made some great friends with the students and also with the USP group. Ok, here goes from the airport on…
I left my family, which wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be, then I got through security and on my way to Chicago, but before I even left the Indy airport I sat down waiting and God told me something. He said, “Katie, I had to get you away. Away from your family and everything else.” I said, “Ok.” I am not sure what He meant by that but I am sure I will find out. I met up with Tori in Chicago, which was a blessing, but we both agreed that we really didn’t want to do this. I had no desire to go, I just wanted to go back home and be in my comfort of my home with people I know and wouldn’t feel awkward around. I didn’t care that I was going to Africa or that it was an opportunity of a lifetime, I didn’t want to go. Then Tori and I go on the plane and fell asleep. God spoke to me while I was semi-sleeping. I can’t really remember the words, but I just woke up refreshed and ready. We woke up excited! We were ready to go! (We think that it was the malaria medicine that we are on which has a side effect of mood swings and depression, so watch out! Haha). We got to the airport and started meeting people. I still have yet to meet everyone because some traveled independently and then almost right when we go here, they went to live with their family for the semester. God keeps reminding me that this trip isn’t about relationships with boys or girls. Friendships are a plus, but they are not my main focus. There are different types of emotions when you are the minority and everyone is staring at you. It is not a mean stare, but it is still awkward. There are so many suggestions on how to keep safe and it is double for me because I am white and female. Yay! It is sometimes rough when I am walking by myself because there is no one to cling to that looks like me. A t this point all I have eaten has been rice, beans, mutuka (I don’t know if that is how it is spelled, but it is a banana type plant that has no real flavor, not bad), plantains (another form of banana, but not as good), and posho (sounds like fo sho, J, corn maize and water). The food isn’t too bad, bland, but not bad at all. I am sure it will get old, but all food does. Are we not spoiled? We, as in students from Olivet, were talking about how we complained about our café with choices beyond words, but here you have three types of food for your plate and perhaps you could choose between rice and mutuka. It has been a real eye opener. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
There was a rain storm today and it was amazing! Through it God reminded me that He is going to pour out on me this semester, but there is going to a storm. I am not excited, but I am. I want Him so bad! He is all my gaze is fixed on. Since being here I have not slept very well and probably only get about four to five hours average. Example, last night I went to bed at 11:00-ish and woke up at 2 a.m. not able to go back to sleep. Some say it is jet lag, but I think it is God waking me up to just be with Him. There is not really anywhere I can go at 2 a.m., so I read and just laid in bed. My heart is just bursting forth with Him. I do not get a lot of alone time, but when I do it is so nice. I am going to have to fight for it and I will. I didn’t today and I realized that I was missing something in my life. It sounds so cheezy, but He is what makes me whole and go on through the day. It is almost like when I do not spend time with Him I become a little more like who I use to be. That is not my goal. My goal is to bring Him glory everywhere and anywhere I go with whatever I do and say. He is my Dada, Husband, Best friend, and Glorious King. It is me and Him, all the time, for all my life. He just reminded me of when we want to share experiences with others that are not a guarantee in our life, but He is always there, evern when we turn ugly and He should completely drop us. Instead He draws us that much closer to His cheek humming that perfect lullaby that just soothes our soul. Why would we not want to share our experiences with Him? Even after marriage there is not guarantee. God is the only guarantee of life.
There are sometimes with some things that I am just like, HUH? It is not even with the Ugandan people, but with people in the group. I am starting to find out who I want to hang out with and who I do not want to invest a lot of time with, is that bad? I have prayed for friends that are running hard after God and I have yet to truly find that, but whether or not they come I will press on. Again, it isn’t about relationships. I can feel the jealously that God is having with me. I know that is why He keeps telling me that it isn’t about anyone, but Him. I think about Him and just get butterflies. I know He has brought me here for a reason and right now everything is wonderful. The weather is amazing for January and the people are so nice, but it has also only been five days. I am not naïve enough to believe this is how it is always going to be. First of all, we started classes today and that is just something I see as taking away, but I am sure it will not be my biggest time waster: P I just want moments with Him, special only us two moments. I want to write like crazy all the things He is telling me. I want to be able to hear him amongst all the noise. I want to be so sensitive to His heart that what breaks His, breaks mine. I want to be so in depth with His character that I would know without even needing to ask. I am bursting at the seams with everything and I can’t wait!
If in a few weeks, this blog is completely the opposite emotions, it could be the medicine (hehe), but I am sure it is just the suffering I am going through for the molding, striping, applying, and shaping that will be taking place with God. On Saturday we go to live with a family for two weeks and I’m a bit nervous just because it will be awkward, but I am sure shaping. I pray that wherever you are reading this that you will feel His undoubtable presence and unfailing love in your soul today. He is taking care of me like promised. No worries about me, I am running on the wild path with the strongest, most glorious hand in mine…
“Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell. Then will I go to the alter of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the harp, O God, my God.”
Psalm 43:3-4
(God just gave me this chapter and it is so fitting because I am going up to the mountain by our dorm to spend time with Him, He is so clever!)
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