Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Jerk

26-1-09
Hmmm…I feel like a jerk. We just got done watching themovie called War Dance. It is about these children from northern Uganda that are victims of the war with the rebels, who compete in this music festival in Kampala. The stories that were told about their lives were just heart wretching. It really put me in my place. Here I am complaining about how I have to live with a family for two weeks that has electricity and food and water. They do not have to fear for their lives or the lives of their family and I am sitting there thinking these people have it so hard and they are thinking I am so blessed. Who am I? I am nothing. I have never experienced pain in the ways these people have, but yet I feel as though I can say I have suffered? No way. No one can understand this until they come here, but I am trying to make it as vivid as possible. Those children in the movie were telling the story of how they found their parents after the rebels had come in their village. A girl saw her mother and father’s heads pulled out of a pot, so that they could recognize who their parents were. My heart is so heavy. I feel so burdened, but yet do not know what to do. God told me while I was watching that movie that I cannot save the world, only He can. That is very good news to me because I would not know where to begin.
Even though I am in Uganda, I feel as though it is so easy to disconnect from this country. I could totally just pretend that I am in college and there is nothing else for me to do but be a college kid, or I could actually be in Africa. I need to touch it, smell it, eat it, hear it, and truly see it. God revealed to me yesterday that since being in Africa these past two and half weeks, all I have been doing is living for myself, not God. There is a song that was played yesterday in church and I forget the tune, but it goes something like “Everyday I will follow you and walk with you and live for you.” Something to that affect, but the point is I need to live everyday for HIM! I have been so selfish these past few weeks. Feeling as though I am above some of the thigns thrown at me like food, work, or living conditions. How dare I? Again, I am nothing. There are times where I just want to run home and say ok, I have seen that part of the world and it was good now back to my life. I have truly been turned upside down. I will never look at my life the same way. I will never be able to look at Africa as just a beauty of God’s creation. Africa has faces, like Mark who is seven and wears the holiest pj pants I have ever seen, or Joseph who for the life of him cannot run without his pants showing his bottom. Ruth, my precious Ruth, who always has her little sister with her and takes care of her, or Issama, who just wants to touch you and know that you know his name. How about David, who works so hard for his family and tries to earn money for school which is only $100 give or take, or how about Sarah, who goes to UCU (Uganda Christian University) and is trying to find a place to live, but only has 50,000 shilings, which calculates to about $25.00 for the semester. These are only some of the people I have met in the past two weeks. I can’t and won’t go back to the way I thought before. It is difficult here and the differences, but something God reminded me yesterday was that we are one people, He loves me just as much as he loves the rebel soldier that is killing people 200 miles north of me. That is unfathomable (sp?) to me being American and thinking I have it all together. Perfect little Katie here, no way there could be a comparison right? God sees all, loves all, and knows all. I have to trust Him on so many things and on so many levels. It was hard for me to trust Him with my family because I know them and love them so much, but to trust Him with all the things that are going on in this world. Whoa. I am beyond thankful that I am not God. I have so many things that I want to do when I get back with church, with school, with my family, and with God. I refuse to be mediocre. God has called and I am coming out of hiding. No more will I be afraid to call on His name. No more will I be reluctant to speak of Him with others. Uplifting words are the only thing I want to come out of my mouth. I want freedom in Christ, true and complete freedom in Him. I know that I will not come back from Africa knowing everything and having it all together, but I do feel as though I will be a different person. Sorry family, but when you saw me on January 8th, 2009, that will be the last time you see that Katie. There will be a transformation, God told me so. It will hurt, but I know it will be for the better. Please do not worry if there are times when I sound angry or depressed or sad, it comes with the territory of being in Africa. I love you all and will write soon!
May you feel His presence wherever you are and whatever you are doing. God knows no boundaries.

Love,
Katie

p.s.
Family send me some mail...please :(
Or anyone else for that matter...
Katie Addington, Uganda Studies Program
Uganda Christian Unversity
P.O. Box 4
Mukono, UGANDA

Love you all!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Joyfully content...

23-1-09
I cannot believe that there is only a week left in January! I have been here for two weeks, almost. It seems so crazy! There have been so many new experiences and so many emotions that will never get the justice to be remembered. This week has been a whirlwind of emotions. Right now I am staying with a family until next Friday, but at first I hated it and couldn’t wait til it was done. I do not hate it anymore, but I am glad that I choose to stay on campus for the semester. I am beginning to know what it is like to be a Ugandan family in a developing country. These people are so joyful and thankful for all that God has given them. They do so much work and it just part of life to them. I know I will not complain about doing laundry anymore in the states. I won’t say I will never because I am sure I will at some point, but I will be thankful for the button I have to push instead of the ‘getting the water from the well, getting buckets, washing and scrubbing with hands, rinsing with hands, hanging dry, ironing because of bugs’ type laundry. Running water is such a luxury that I take for granted everyday of my life. I am kind of a sanitary person and for me to eat at a dinner table with ants crawling all over and perhaps on the food is a big strech for me. Back home, most people would describe me as a picky eater but I think you would be shocked what I have eaten here. Lets make a list: onions, carrots, french beans, cabbage, all kinds of bananas (some not so good), peppers, papaya, jack fruit, MANGOS!, pineapples, watermelon, avocado, and rice and beans! Haha…I actually enjoy rice and beans. I think I will be vegatarian while being here because the meat comes out of a little shack with no refrigeration. Plus the meat is chewy and just not great. So I want a big steak when I get back parents! ;)
There have been somethings that I appreciate in America, besides running water and real toliets. Here pedestrians do not have the right-a-way; it is every man/woman for themself here. I like the time we eat supper because here we eat at 9:00 p.m. or later and then you take a bath and go to bed. I love that we have huge breakfast, they do not. I would be so fat if I ate late all the time. One thing I love here is the community environment. People that I do not even know call me sister and there is just such an emphasis on family. It is not individualistic at all, but communial (sp?). The disadvantage to that is there is never any alone time. I need that, but here it is almost strange for a person to want that. People know no stranger. Neighbors are friends, families are golden, and strangers are always welcomed. It is so funny because they always say, ‘ You are most welcome’ meaning as in welcome to our land, but someone asked me why they are always saying welcome when we do not say thank you…I just laughed. They always ask how your day went, how your night went, and anything in between. I love it! I want my family now and future family to be so community centered with some minor adjustments :D. Well I am going to go eat lunch, rice and beans, then go to Mukono with Tori. I’m so excited because Naomi, mama, and I are going to town tomorrow to look for material for a dress to be made!
I miss all of you and pray for His presence to be with you this very moment. Just breathe Him in.

Love,
katie

Humble, Humbly, Humbling

19-1-09
So it has been an interesting weekend to say the least. The worst weekend I have experienced thus far of Africa, and as I am told, the worst one of the semester. That is semi-good news, I guess. I am just going through a rough time at themoment, so please pray for me.
Naomi and I are staying with a family for two weeks. Naomi is such a blessing and I do not think I could do it without her being there. There is Mama Harriet and four boys. Two of them are her sons, who are brats, and then the youngest is her grandson, Mark, and the oldest is her nephew, David. David does all the work, or so it seems. We went to the well with him yesterday to get water and it is far and steep. He is so strong and he said it is just a part of life, like school. It is very humbling to see his attitude towards something we would complain and probably refuse to do, but he just does it without complaint. I was reading on the front porch yesterday, which is where I think I got my ten bug bites, but anyway, these kids were playing in the yard. When I say yard I mean dirt because there is no grass. They were so adorable and the oldest girl was named Ruth. I think she is someone I will develop a relationship with, at least that is what I felt when I met her. The children are so precious and to actually converse with them is awesome! I want to bring them all home with me. I took pictures of them and showed pictures of my family and friends to them. The joy that they hold is amazing to me. I would look at them with such sadness, but they are so content and joyful. I feel as though I will learn a lot from them.
Cleanliness is not very high on the list when it comes to food. I have become vegatarian for the duration of this trip. I can’t handle it. I would rather not know where things come from or how they are cooked and just eat them, but since staying with a family I have learned both of those things and that is why I am not going to eat meat while I am here. Ants are crawling all over the table and in the food, but it does not seem to be a big deal. We have a squatty potty at the house and I attempted to go yesterday and when I shut the door a lizard jumped. That was the end of my bathroom experience at home. I am so spoiled. We bathe in a dark room with a bucket after dinner, which is at 9 or later. Then we go to bed. Naomi and I share a room with no door and so it is awkward to change clothes. I do not want to offend them on anything, it seems hard though. I got homesick really bad yesterday and God and I are having an agrument. Perhaps it isn’t an agrument on His end, but it is on mine. I think He is just waiting for me to come to my senses, but anyways. I have so much to say, but right now I am just not in the mood to express it. It would not be cheerful and I do not want anyone to worry. I am fine, just dealing with somethings like God told me I would. I love you all and miss you!

Love,
Katie

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Mazungu, white person

14/01/09
God is so prevalent in this place. While taking classes and meeting new people all the time, He is there. There has not been a conversation that I have had with a Ugandan that God was not mentioned. There are amazing things that have happened and are going to happen.
While being here and being the minority, it definitely gives a different perspective. I am getting use to the stares, but the hospitality is in such abundance here. The people are curious and are not afraid to ask things. I have had two people ask me about my birthmark. I am ok with that because I was afraid that they would think I was cursed or something of the sort. Yesterday we went on a scavenger hunt in Mukono. I was with three other girls and one slipped and scrapped her leg. It was an experience. I almost got taken out by a boda-boda. No joke. I am seriously scared of those things. When we got here, they told us that boda-bodas were forbidden and I was bummed because I thought they would be cool to ride. (In case you are wondering, a boda-boda is a small motorcycle). But a couple of things change my mind…a) one almost taking my life, b) You would have to straddle a man, and c) If you didn’t straddle a man and had a skirt on, you would have to sit sideways and I would definitely fall off which would end my life that way. So with some common sense I put two and two together and decided they are too dangerous and it would be very awkward. We found the hotel that we were supposed to end up at and we got sodas. Yes, I drank a soda because a) it was cold, b) it was free, and c) how many times am I going to be able to drink soda in AFRICA? There is a girl, Cyndi, here that is a roommate of Tori’s and I just love her! She is so funny and I think God is going to teach her so much because she Is very grossed out by a lot here. Anyways, she is bald,b ut not because of cancer. She has this autoimmunal disease that thinks her hair is bad and won’t let it grow. We were talking about how we get double stares because she is bald and my face is red. We laugh at it. When we were walking back from town to the campus these adorable little children that lived in a hut came out and was like muzungu, which means white person, and they were just so excited to see us and were waving and I just wanted to bring them home with me. L The children here are so precious. I got some rolled bead jewelry. We go into Kampala on Friday and I’m way excited! Then on Saturday we got to a family for homestays and we stay with them for two weeks. That will be interesting. Please pray.
Some things that reminded me of home were when we were in a church service, they started to talk about Alpha and I thought Mary! It was just way cool! The bananas are amazing! They have such an added sweetness to them. I wish I could bring some home for my dad. L He would love them! I am not homesick right now because everything is so new and seems to be doing well, but here in about a month or two I am sure it will be bad. I do miss my family, but it is not a longing to be with them. I think I could make it living overseas. Anywhere God wants to take me, I am there. He has me reading Isaiah right now and showing me some different lessons that need to be learned. I am blessed to have Him here with me. If it wasn’t for Him I wouldn’t be here and if it wasn’t for Him I would leave. I am so thankful that He takes our burdens away. Praise Him for peace! For grace! For mercy! For wisdom and discernment! I need these things all the time! The devotion I had this morning was awesome! It talked about how we need to hear the call of God and to hear it we need to be listening to Him. O to be face to face with Him. That is my desire! He is my all in all. I am beginning to find out what that truly means.
On some funny notes, we ate dinner in the dark tonight and it seemed perfectly normal to all the students. Last night there was an alarm that went off from 5 p.m. until about 8:30 a.m. Yes, all through the night. It was lovely, but this girl gave me ear plugs and I pray Jesus blesses her so much for that! I have cold showers and today the shower curtains were shredded and so I put my towel, which is really big, up as a shower curtain and it fell mid shower. Lol. Some very humbling experiences. I also took a vitamin this morning on an empty stomach and made me throw up. It was just water and stomach acid so not too bad and thankful I know that I am not sick just stupid :P.
As for the group here, there are so many different personalities which can be very interesting and very annoying, but again humbling J. The guys here are amazing! And no worries I am not falling in love with any of them. They just seem so genuine and real. They are not abnoxious (sp?) or stupid. They seem like they truly care and truly seeking God. It is very refreshing. Well, my battery is about to die and it is more of a hassel to plug it in, so I am going to for now J I lov eyou all and hopefully will be able to post something every other day or what not. Be blessed because more than like those of you who are reading this are in America. Count those blessings! All my love!

Katiebelle

The smell of campfires, the beautiful sunsets, the most welcoming people, the red feet, and the frizzy hair, yep I'm in AFRICA

12-1-2009
There is just a peace when you are where you are suppose to be. I am at that place with that peace. God has blessed me beyond measure just in the five days that I have been here. I have red feet and frizzy hair everyday, but it does not matter. The people are so nice and welcoming. I have made some great friends with the students and also with the USP group. Ok, here goes from the airport on…
I left my family, which wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be, then I got through security and on my way to Chicago, but before I even left the Indy airport I sat down waiting and God told me something. He said, “Katie, I had to get you away. Away from your family and everything else.” I said, “Ok.” I am not sure what He meant by that but I am sure I will find out. I met up with Tori in Chicago, which was a blessing, but we both agreed that we really didn’t want to do this. I had no desire to go, I just wanted to go back home and be in my comfort of my home with people I know and wouldn’t feel awkward around. I didn’t care that I was going to Africa or that it was an opportunity of a lifetime, I didn’t want to go. Then Tori and I go on the plane and fell asleep. God spoke to me while I was semi-sleeping. I can’t really remember the words, but I just woke up refreshed and ready. We woke up excited! We were ready to go! (We think that it was the malaria medicine that we are on which has a side effect of mood swings and depression, so watch out! Haha). We got to the airport and started meeting people. I still have yet to meet everyone because some traveled independently and then almost right when we go here, they went to live with their family for the semester. God keeps reminding me that this trip isn’t about relationships with boys or girls. Friendships are a plus, but they are not my main focus. There are different types of emotions when you are the minority and everyone is staring at you. It is not a mean stare, but it is still awkward. There are so many suggestions on how to keep safe and it is double for me because I am white and female. Yay! It is sometimes rough when I am walking by myself because there is no one to cling to that looks like me. A t this point all I have eaten has been rice, beans, mutuka (I don’t know if that is how it is spelled, but it is a banana type plant that has no real flavor, not bad), plantains (another form of banana, but not as good), and posho (sounds like fo sho, J, corn maize and water). The food isn’t too bad, bland, but not bad at all. I am sure it will get old, but all food does. Are we not spoiled? We, as in students from Olivet, were talking about how we complained about our café with choices beyond words, but here you have three types of food for your plate and perhaps you could choose between rice and mutuka. It has been a real eye opener. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
There was a rain storm today and it was amazing! Through it God reminded me that He is going to pour out on me this semester, but there is going to a storm. I am not excited, but I am. I want Him so bad! He is all my gaze is fixed on. Since being here I have not slept very well and probably only get about four to five hours average. Example, last night I went to bed at 11:00-ish and woke up at 2 a.m. not able to go back to sleep. Some say it is jet lag, but I think it is God waking me up to just be with Him. There is not really anywhere I can go at 2 a.m., so I read and just laid in bed. My heart is just bursting forth with Him. I do not get a lot of alone time, but when I do it is so nice. I am going to have to fight for it and I will. I didn’t today and I realized that I was missing something in my life. It sounds so cheezy, but He is what makes me whole and go on through the day. It is almost like when I do not spend time with Him I become a little more like who I use to be. That is not my goal. My goal is to bring Him glory everywhere and anywhere I go with whatever I do and say. He is my Dada, Husband, Best friend, and Glorious King. It is me and Him, all the time, for all my life. He just reminded me of when we want to share experiences with others that are not a guarantee in our life, but He is always there, evern when we turn ugly and He should completely drop us. Instead He draws us that much closer to His cheek humming that perfect lullaby that just soothes our soul. Why would we not want to share our experiences with Him? Even after marriage there is not guarantee. God is the only guarantee of life.

There are sometimes with some things that I am just like, HUH? It is not even with the Ugandan people, but with people in the group. I am starting to find out who I want to hang out with and who I do not want to invest a lot of time with, is that bad? I have prayed for friends that are running hard after God and I have yet to truly find that, but whether or not they come I will press on. Again, it isn’t about relationships. I can feel the jealously that God is having with me. I know that is why He keeps telling me that it isn’t about anyone, but Him. I think about Him and just get butterflies. I know He has brought me here for a reason and right now everything is wonderful. The weather is amazing for January and the people are so nice, but it has also only been five days. I am not naïve enough to believe this is how it is always going to be. First of all, we started classes today and that is just something I see as taking away, but I am sure it will not be my biggest time waster: P I just want moments with Him, special only us two moments. I want to write like crazy all the things He is telling me. I want to be able to hear him amongst all the noise. I want to be so sensitive to His heart that what breaks His, breaks mine. I want to be so in depth with His character that I would know without even needing to ask. I am bursting at the seams with everything and I can’t wait!
If in a few weeks, this blog is completely the opposite emotions, it could be the medicine (hehe), but I am sure it is just the suffering I am going through for the molding, striping, applying, and shaping that will be taking place with God. On Saturday we go to live with a family for two weeks and I’m a bit nervous just because it will be awkward, but I am sure shaping. I pray that wherever you are reading this that you will feel His undoubtable presence and unfailing love in your soul today. He is taking care of me like promised. No worries about me, I am running on the wild path with the strongest, most glorious hand in mine…
“Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell. Then will I go to the alter of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the harp, O God, my God.”
Psalm 43:3-4
(God just gave me this chapter and it is so fitting because I am going up to the mountain by our dorm to spend time with Him, He is so clever!)

Friday, January 2, 2009

The waiting begins...

I am counting down the days til I leave. At first I am excited, but then I am scared. I want to go, but I don't want to go. I need to go. I am stressing about all the things I need to bring and the no room that I seem to have to put them in. Life is simple, but sometimes it is hard to see the simplicity of it. I have all these things that are going on around me and I just seem to be slow motion in life. It is almost like I am reflecting on life right now and taking it all in because for four months I won't have it. It will be good not to have it, but some of it sad that I won't have it. God is holding my hand and being so faithful. He is preparing me big time! I can't wait, but I know this is going to hurt. God is going to strip me raw, which I want, but it shall hurt.

Well, please just keep me in your prayers this last week I am on American soil, but mostly while I am away from this American land. I love you all and will miss you dearly, but I have to do this. God has called and I can't ignore.